I was at the YGKA ceremony last week, and it was extremely moving for me. I’ll tell you about myself: I grew up in this community, basically followed the rules and was always a ‘good girl.’ Inside I knew I was faking it all. More and more I couldn’t find myself, knowing that if I was open about my feelings t hat everyone would be mad at me. Mrs. Shaffer taught my class a few times while I was in HS, and her approach made me feel I could trust her as a confidante. She became my unofficial mashpia, because I had to have a mashpia, and t he person I chose I could not open up to completely. Mrs., Shaffer was who I went to with my honest and authentic and vulnerable self – she knew the real me.
When I got engaged – which is a whole story of itself – I went to her for kallah classes. After two classes together with my chosen, we both decided to tell her about his terrible secret that he kept. He also, like me, looked like the perfect bochur, beard and white s hirt and suit, but inside he was like me, he didn’t really care about anything about yiddishket.
What happened after he confessed his authentic self to her was amazing and made me love her more than anyone I ever met. You see, my husband is a cohen. When we finished our class and we were ready to leave a young boy came home from school who was Mrs., Shaffer’s grandson with special needs. She introduced us, and then she said the most amazing thing! She had just heard tha my chosen was not shomer torah and mitzvos, that he was a faker like me, that he even once had a homosexual relationship. After just hearing all of this, she turned to my chosen and said: this is my grandson. You are a cohen. Would you please bentch him.
Kindness? Amazing incrdible unbelievable kindness!!
I continued kallah classes with Mrs. Shaffer, and she knew well and good that we didn’t plan on keeping the whole taharas hamisphocah. On the day of my wedding she came to my kabolas ponim to wish me mazal tov, and then she said she came so th at I, as a kallah, could bentch her.
Kindness?? Amazing kindness!!
There’s much more to say about her, but these two incidents are the most amazing.